Chandelier
by pastel daisies
Summary: She drowns him out of her mind with drinks, dancing and casual sex, until she completely looses herself. Sakura-centric. SasuSaku, slight KibaSaku.


**A/N: **_Based on 'Chandelier' by Sia, I do not own the title of this, or Kishimoto's characters of 'Naruto', and etc. Also, I had to take down the lyrics, Fanfic guidelines. Sorry about that! Youll just have to look them up on your own time. Okay yeah. This is also Sakura-centric. Because Sakura Haruno is Queen._

This story is rated M for brief talk of sex/sexual situations, language, and references to alcoholism. SO YEAH. But NO lemon _per se_.

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**chandelier**

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_Party girls don't get hurt,_

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The air inside the dim lit room was thick, sweaty, humid. The strobe lights hit her emerald corneas at a rapid pace, but by now, she was not affected by them. Her nose wrinkled at the stale smell of sweat, alcohol and smoke, but she continued her movements. Her long, bubble gum pink hair swung against her shoulders and exposed back, falling out of the bun she had secured it in hours earlier, creating a tickling sensation against her skin. She let out an innocent giggle. Her kohl plastered eyelids fell shut over her eyes, pink glossed lips parted in a blissful sigh.

Skin moved against hers, rough to the touch, creating friction and giving her the chance to shiver. Her ears throbbed at the loud music, the bass and drums hitting her like a truck. Her almost empty bottle of vodka was perched between her small fingers, hanging limply.

Long, red nails raked through her pink locks, pulling the damp hair away from her clammy skin. She lost herself.

With her bottle between her supple lips, she gulped back the rest of the strong, clear liquid, wiping her mouth with the back of her pale hand. Then, she was dancing once more, hips surrendering themselves to the beat of the music.

It was her escape.

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_._

* * *

_"I'm so in love with you that I can't even stand it!" She screamed, her tears fresh, cold on her cheeks, covering the stains of older tears. Her feet were planted on the pavement, but she was ready. Ready to run to him, to stop him. There was silence. _

_"If you would only be with me", she hurriedly continued, half raving, half clearly thinking, "you wouldn't regret it. I can give you happiness. And .. and if you can't do that.. then take me with you!" The silence echoed back to her like ripples of water. Her throat was heavy, her eyes burning from the tears. Her small hands were bunched up against her chest, and she felt her heartbeat quickening. She let herself omit small sobs and sniffs to fill the void in the air. When he finally spoke, she felt sick. His cold, emotionless tone hit her head on, and she fought to maintain her stance. Her knees buckled._

_"You haven't changed." Her eyes widened, legs shaking. _

_"You're still annoying." He had turned his head around to look at her now, and his eyes were taunting, strong, hurtful. Her lips parted in another sob._

**.**

"Sakura." His voice brought her out of her trance. She slowly shook her head, clearing her thoughts, but avoided her gaze on his. The air was hollow in the waiting room of the council chambers. She writhed in the small seat, crossing her legs. She felt his gaze on her head, before his eyes turned away to face the door. To her left, Naruto exhaled loudly.

"Che, granny Tsunade sure takes her time deliberating!" Sakura let out a small huff in the form of a chuckle. She folded her hands between her knees to keep them warm from the cool temperature of the room. Sasuke was motionless in his seat to her left, and to her right, Naruto continued to shift in his seat, trying to get comfortable. He made small noises of annoyance as he did.

"Stop." Naruto immediately stopped at Sasuke's curt tone. He rolled his eyes and sat criss cross in the seat. He huffed.

"Bastard." He muttered under his breath, and Sakura let out another breath. Her thoughts were still swirling with the wind from that night. She tensed ever so slightly as she remembered his voice. She was on her feet in an instant, hands over her forearms. Naruto frowned and squinted as she did.

"Eh? Sakura-chan, we have to hear Sasuke's punishment-"

"I'm going to get some air." She said curtly and disappeared into the hallway, heading towards the front entrance, and then out onto the street behind the Hokage tower. She didn't return that day, and had no care for the status of Uchiha Sasuke.

**.**

_"Don't leave me!" She cried out, beginning to take a step forward as he resumed walking away from her. She stared at his back, her arm extending towards him, as if to grasp him before he could leave her. She continued in a whirl of words and sobs._

_"I-If you go, I'll scream, and-" He was behind her in an instant. Her words died in her throat, and she didn't dare breathe._

_"Sakura." He acknowledged her, and her eyes widened, tears cascading down her face. _Please, no_, she begged silently, _don't-

_"Thank you." His words were softer than usual, but needless to say, they were only there to fill the silence. To finish his sentence. She knew, and was already ready from him to do what he did best. To push her away, to sever her from his life. She tried to say his name, struggled with it in a breath of air, and his fingers pinched the nerve bundle on the back of her neck. She only remembered collapsing to the cold pavement before everything was black. _

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_._

* * *

She was quite the hit among the males in Konaha. During the great War, she had had a chance to mingle with many of them as they slowly made their way into the infirmary tent, injured, bleeding, some near death. She had been kind, they remembered, her emerald orbs were tender, confident, strong. If she promised that they would recover, it would happen. _She_ would make it happen with the drip of sweat from her brow. In the period of two years after the war, they saw that she, unlike her other female friends, was not quick to pick up a lover, a boyfriend, a mate. If she went out, she went alone. If she was with a male, she was with her teammates.

But males didn't only acknowledge her efforts in the war, no, they began to see how beautiful she was, how fragile looking. She had given up her feat to keep her short hair, and had grown it out, bangs framing her slim face, creamy and primed with maturity. Her chest had finally hit its spurt, her legs were toned from training, hips curvy, waist slim. She was a sight for sore eyes, even if she didn't know it.

Slowly, she began to show herself in public with men, usually around the outskirts of Konaha where the bars and clubs were located. She regarded her "dates" casually. She would get a few drinks with them, possibly dance a while, and then she was gone; lost in her own world. Once or twice, she had been seen at a restaurant with a date or walking home with one, but nothing more.

The first of her fellow shinobi to ask her out was Kiba. He had been awkward in a cute way in asking her if she wanted to grab a drink with him sometime, and upon hearing the magic word 'drink', she agreed. If it was a plus, she liked Kiba in a friendly manner. They had drunk quite a few drinks, but not enough to become erratically intoxicated, and he had escorted her back to his apartment, lips fiercely attacking hers, ignoring her hesitancy and lack of response to his kisses. That night, Kiba become her only casual sex partner, and he didn't seem to find it at all insulting, even when his back arched in complete pleasure, screaming her name as she rode him until the sun split across the horizon, and then disappeared the next morning.

Many times, she found bouquets of flowers on her office desk, some from Kiba, and some from others. She made a home for them in her windowsill at the hospital and at her apartment, especially the pink roses Lee had taken to sending her.

She had been out on a few dates with him, but after dinner when he had tried to kiss her, she politely declined, but promised another date.

She was not cautious to fall back into a routine of committed romance with another man, she merely did not _want _to pull herself back there. She ignored the fact that when Kiba loomed over her, thrusting heatedly into her, she pictured Sasuke's face, Sasuke's pale, porcelain skin against her clammy thighs and stomach. Instead, her escape came from dancing, drinking, and casual sex.

She looked at the fresh carnations and rose duo sat on her kitchen table one night, and pulled off the small card attached to it. She downed the rest of her coffee, and flipped over the card, hands reaching for her phone to call the number on the back.

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_._

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The guy with his number on the back of her bouquet card (_Sandayuu was it? Maybe Saru, she couldn't remember) _had been quite the bore. She let him take her out to a nice restaurant, basking in his attention, and then when he began to talk to her of the future, of _their _future, and how he really wanted to start a relationship with her, she had no choice but to end the date early. She headed briskly to her regular night club without another thought.

Had she been conscious of her situation, she would have seen Naruto and Hinata on their date in the back of the club, but the heavy rocking of the sound had her senses caught. Glass in hand, she moved between and around people, couples, bodies. She squished herself into the middle of the dancefloor and let herself completely go, arms moving, straps of her dress slipping down her arms, messy hair flying. Warm hands, sweaty fingers gripped her hips, her waist, her shoulders, ass, thighs, fingers. She held tight to her drink, which was now half empty (mostly from her devouring it, but partly from her rapid dancing, as it sloshed to the floor) and moved towards the outer ring of the dancing.

The cooler air felt good on her exposed skin and she lurched her head back, letting out a very happy sigh. In the back of her fuzzing over mind, she heard her name being yelled. Then a hand was on her arm.

"Hey! Sakura!" She opened her eyes, frowning at the amount of blond in her vision. She rolled her eyes and finished her drink.

"Nnh, what?" She slurred, feeling the hand drag her towards the booths. She made to protest, but Naruto cut her off.

"Sakura-chan, you're drunk. Calm down." She snorted.

"Soo?" She trailed off, and Naruto sat her down next to Hinata, who put her hand to her friends head. She looked worried.

"I think we should take her home, Naruto-kun.." Hinata murmured, and Naruto nodded. Sakura slammed her glass down on the table and shook her head, arms going over her head in a stretch.

"Not ..yet.. I'm still dancing!" She said in a giggly tone, and Naruto's worried gaze intensified. Before he could say another word, Sakura flew up out of the booth and was immersed in the crowds of people, pink hair disappearing into the dim lighting. Naruto stood up and looked for her, cursing out loud. Hinata's hand encased his gently.

"We'll get her when the club closes soon." She promised, and Naruto nodded, quietly sitting back down.

But, when the club closed about two hours later, and it was early morning, Sakura managed to sneak out with the large crowds and escaped Naruto and Hinata. She began walking home, her medical ninja training setting in. She used her chakra to slowly dissolve much of the effects of the alcohol from her stomach and liver, and then her head. Within minutes, the fuzziness of her vision was fading, and her mouth tasted chalky.

She took a swing of the sake bottle she had in her hand, her last drink for the night. She had inherited Tsunade's drinking tastes, as well as Tsunade's tips to keep the body healthy after such alcoholic abuse. Being a doctor had its perks. Sakura hadn't had a hangover in just over a year. As she walked down the quiet street, heels clicking against the pavement, her mind (now clearing up) began to wonder, which was never good.

**.**

_Though she had grown up, there were a few traits she hadn't yet grown out of. One of those was stupidity. She had already begged him once to take her with him, she would do anything to be with him, and it didn't work. Without a thought, she was in the same predicament, staring down at his injured teammate, eyes catching the long, red hair matted with blood. This was not the same boy who left her on the bench. But she was the same girl who wanted to be his everything. _

_"I want to join you", her voice was shaking slightly under his watchful look, but she was confident, "I'll do anything." He had smirked. _

_"Would you betray your village for me?" Her eyes widened, and then returned to normal. She felt tears well up in the corners of her pretty eyes. With a prim nod, she made up her mind. _

_"Yes." His smirk grew wider. He stepped aside and gestured to his dying teammate. _

_"Prove it. Kill her. You're a medic ninja, aren't you, Sakura? Good, you can replace her." Her hands began to shake. She pulled out a kunai from her pouch, her mind still choosing what to do next. Was she really going to- She cut her own thoughts off and took a step past Sasuke, her eyes looking down at the teammate. Her kunai shook in her hand. She would do it. Do it for him. The man she loved. _

_Then she heard the faint chirping of birds. Her eyes widened. She moved to turn around, and wished she hadn't. His hand, Chidori blazing, aimed at her solar plexus, that damned smirk still on his face. If Kakashi hadn't have diverted his hand, he would have killed her. _

Sakura's head rushed, spun, whirled and she pulled herself out of her memory. Gripping the cold bottle tighter in her hand, she pressed her arm to the fence of the back early, bent over and was sick. She coughed until all of the bile and liquor was gone and her mind was clear. She stood up straight once more and pushed her sweaty hair out of her face, grimacing at the bitter taste in her mouth.

Then she took another swing of sake.

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_._

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She was happy at the lack of a hangover she received the next morning, and did her rounds at the hospital. Sasuke had been in earlier for his required checkup (deemed by the council), and she had tended to him quickly and curtly, taking care not to touch him any more than needed. She ignored his unwavering gaze on her as he tried to figure out what had changed about her. As soon as she was done, she shooed him out of the room and went to her office, finding the phone light blinking with calls.

She ignored the voicemails and dialed Kiba's number.

They met at a different club across Konaha this time, and immediately ordered a drink. This time, Sakura didn't feel like getting drunk so easily and so fast, so she dragged Kiba out onto the dance floor, her eyes already closed in happiness. She didn't register when Kiba's hands found their way to her hips, pressing her against him. She ground her heated pelvis against his, feeling his hands grip her ass as he let out a harsh breath. His lips met the clammy skin of her shoulder, as he turned her around in his arms, grinding against her. She ignored this, her only thoughts on the absolute desire for the hands on her hips to be pale, long, to be attached to the body of Uchiha Sasuke.

She was in a blur of bitter tasting liquid, dancing, sweat, and hot skin when she was suddenly outside, being pulled by the hand by Kiba towards his apartment. This time, she let him take her from behind, his upper half pressing her down against the counter top. When she called out Sasuke's name at her orgasm, Kiba acted like she had said his name instead, acted like he hadn't heard it before. This time, she fell asleep in Kiba's arms in his bed, and did not wake up until the morning.

Her dreams were not as soft as Kiba's embrace.

**.**

_Killing the one you loved was not an easy feat. But when he turned to darkness, turned away from _her_ and his village, she knew it had to be done. She had to break Naruto's eternal promise to bring him back, that promise was regarded as null when he promised to destroy Konaha._

_Kakashi had sent her away to tend to Sasuke's teammate, promising that she wouldn't have to bear this burden alone, that he would take care of it. She was silent in her nod, but still stunned by his previous attack. Her fingers enclosed over the woman's wound, when she heard them below her. She quickly kept his teammate conscious, and then pulled her kunai out once more. No. This was her burden. Her release. She disappeared down under the bridge, and was instantly behind him. _

_Her darkness. _

_Her kunai was pointed at his back, and she was ready, oh so _ready _to end it. End him. But she hesitated. He was still her Sasuke, no matter what revenge had done to him. She loved him so, and when a tear slipped down her cheek and her hand refused to move, she wasn't surprised. Then, he was facing her, hand shooting out to grip her neck, hoisting her up. His other hand took her kunai and spun it around in his hand. _

_She mewled in pain against his grip on her throat, gasping for breath, when he raised his hand, her poisoned kunai in his fingers, and moved to swipe it across her throat quickly, efficiently, effortlessly._

**.**

She no longer woke up from nightmares screaming, or jumping up in terror. She wiped away her tears and pulled out of Kiba's embrace, reaching for her dress and heels. She made it to her apartment long enough to shower and down a pot of coffee, before heading back to work. When she pushed open the door to her office this morning, he was there, perched lazily on her couch, watching her without a hint of emotion. She ignored this and closed the door behind her.

She moved past him as if he weren't there and towards her desk, and he frowned.

"What is it?" He said in a mildly irritated voice. She sat down in her office chair and crossed her legs.

"Be more specific, Sasuke." She responded curtly, and his lip twitched ever so slightly at the loss of suffix.

"You've changed." He pointed out blandly. Not moving from his position. He continued to watch her, and she stared straight back at him, wishing she had a tall drink right now.

"Really?" She chided back.

"Hn."

She stood up, rolling her eyes. With her arms crossed over her chest, she headed over to her coffee marker, pouring herself a cup of bitter sludge. Sasuke's irritated gaze was on her back, and if she had been careful to analyze it, her ass to be specific. She walked past him and opened her door, hand clutching the doorknob. She took a sip of her hot coffee before she spoke.

"People change, Sasuke-kun." She hadn't realized she used the suffix until after it slipped from her lips. She wanted to slap herself. She was about to walk out of her office, when his voice stopped her.

"I'm sorry." His tone was blank, but not harsh. She snorted.

"Yeah, me too."

She closed the door to her office, leaving him in there and headed to anywhere where he wasn't.

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_._

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Ino called her after work, mentioning a group get together at one of the bars. By group, Sakura assumed she meant everyone who wanted to go. As in, everyone but Sasuke. She agreed, and went to get ready.

By midnight, she had downed two shots and had only danced with her friends once, she spent the rest of her time in the middle of the bodies on the dance floor, as the group had migrated across the street to there from the bar. Kiba, much to her sadness, had not come, as he had important business with his father (as well as he had started to date another girl), so Sakura danced by herself. And that was completely okay, she had taken a liking to being on her own when she lost herself to get away from Sasuke. It was good that she spent the time by herself away from the group, or else she would have seen Naruto dragging a scowling Sasuke into the club.

While she was dancing, she met a nice man who reminded her almost of Naruto with his enthusiasm. With a laugh, she let him lead her over to the bar and get her a drink. They sat there, conversing, and Sakura was content at his casual conversation topics. He wasn't looking for love, he just wanted a good time. They had that in common. She drank to his opinions, before the male was shoved aside, and a pair of angry, black eyes met hers. She smiled slowly, her mind fuzzy.

"That wasn't nice!" She yelled over the music, and the male in front of her frowned, crossing his arms.

"You're drunk." He deadpanned, rage under toning his words. She fought back a laugh.

"Jesus, Sasuke-kun you're soooo uptight. Lighten up!" She pulled away from him, and disappeared back into the crowd of dancing people, hands gripping her drink. She gulped it down quickly and began to swing to the fast pace. Her fuzzy mind began to disappear from reality.

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_._

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_She remembers her worried glances at Naruto's clone as he distracted Kaguya, and then, she was in another place, Obito beside her, panting. _

_"We need to find him and fast." He cautioned, knowing that it wouldn't take Kaguya long to find the real Naruto and sense their location. Sakura nodded promptly and scanned the horizon of the desert, looking for the familiar man. Kami, it was hot. She spotted a body collapsed in the sand a mile from where they were perched and began running over to it, sand kicking up into her shoes uncomfortably. She ignored it._

_"Sasuke-kun!" She called, and the body hitched in a breath. His Sharingan eye was closed in a wince, Rinnegan staring at her. He panted and stood up straight, muscles tensing. _

_"Sakura." He said back coldly. Her fingers went to his arm to make sure he was okay, but he moved away from her. _

_"Where is Naruto?" He asked just as blankly and she swallowed. _

_"Distracting Kaguya." Sasuke nodded and looked at Obito, their eyes meeting. _

_"Let's go." He said, and then they were heading out of the dimension. That was when Sakura began to process just how much Uchiha Sasuke didn't care. She remained silent until they tiredly returned home after it was all over. She said nothing more, but went to her apartment and guzzled down her first bottle of sake. And then two more. To celebrate the War's end, Ino planned a trip to the night club, where Sakura experienced her first break from reality. Sasuke didn't cross her mind for the rest of the night._

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_._

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The warmth of the bodies around her made her feel weightless, the vodka in her system slowly doing it's job. She threw her hands up with a giggle and continued to dance, feeling hands on her thighs and waist. She turned around and continued to dance, letting the fingers run up and down her back. For all she knew, it was one of her 'fanboys', as Ino called them. It was anyone but Sasuke, that was for sure.

She licked her lips, wanting another drink, but the addictive sway of the music had her enticed. She was completely out of it, not knowing what was happening around her as she danced to the beat, alcohol taking over her senses. Up until a pair of strong hands gripped her forehands, yanking her off of the dancefloor. She pouted, her vision very fuzzy.

"H-hey!" She tried to protest, but her mind wouldn't register the face or person.

"SAKURA!" Sasuke yelled over the roar of the music, and Sakura frowned. Slowly, her vision cleared, and she looked up at his angry face, ripping her arms from his tight grip.

"Go away." She mumbled, but he caught her wrist, pulling her back to face him. She was beginning to get irritated.

"_What?_" She said loudly over the music, crossing her arms. He stared at her, lips a thin line. When he didn't make a move to respond, she turned away from him and walked towards the bar, aiming to get another drink. She ordered a bottle of sake, and felt him follow her and stand beside her. She took a swing of her sake and headed back out to dance, leaving him standing at the bar, watching her. She went back to the circle of bodies and resumed her dancing, taking another gulp of the sake to rid him from her.

Out of sight, out of mind.

She was immersed in a barrage of heat, sweat and humidity, and her mind processed the hot breath on her neck. Hands trailed up her thighs to her hips, and lips panted her name against her neck. She giggled. How did he know her name? She pressed back against him, ass grinding against his heated groin, and he growled loudly. She was gone, her mind in other places, body moving automatically as she left her body and her spirit swung from the ceiling. He was gone from her mind, and she was happy.

When she took in her surroundings again, it wasn't until an hour later, and she was very clammy, hair plastered to her forehead. She shivered at the outside air, and looked at the hand on her wrist. The person lead her down the street away from the club, and she giggled. Maybe it was Kiba. She was lead to her apartment, and she frowned, a small pout on her lips. She didn't want to go home now...

'Sakura, where are your keys?" The voice asked curtly. Sakura frowned deeper and shrugged.

"Dunno." She giggled drunkenly, and the man growled. Her arm was pulled around a warm neck and she leaned against the weight in thanks.

"Wher-e we goin'?" She slurred out happily. The man said nothing, so Sakura shrugged and continued to talk boredly.

"Thought you were.. Kiba...but you're not...unless.. you're Sasuke-kun!" She said happily, obviously not registering who she was being led home by. Hell, it could have been Naruto and she wouldn't have known. The man smirked slightly and huffed. He said nothing more, and approached his apartment door, unlocking it. He set Sakura down on the couch, and she laid down, sighing at the comfy pillows.

"Aaahh.." She closed her eyes and stretched. She heard him running water, and then a glass was shoved in her face. She took it and downed the contents, thinking it was alcohol, and pouted when she found that is was water. She handed back the empty glass and the man sighed.

"Annoying." He said curtly, and she giggled.

"You sound just like Sasuke-kun!" He even looked like him! When he didn't respond, she continued, tapping her finger to her chin.

"Only.. Sasuke-kun wouldn't treat me like this. He doesn't even like me, and he tried to kill me. Twice. Hmm.." She saw the man flinch and she giggled again, indicating he come closer to her. He stood in front of her, and she wrapped her arms around his midsection, head resting on his toned stomach. She sighed out happily. His fingers pried hers away from around him, and she stood up in object, eyes flashing in irritation.

"Take me home!" She said quickly, and the man frowned.

"You don't know where your keys are." He spat, and she rolled her eyes, and leaned into his chest.

"Love you, Sasuke-kun.." He froze. Hands made their way to cup her cheeks, urging her head up to look at him. She did so, taking in the fuzzy sight before her. She was about to speak, when his voice cut her off.

"You won't remember this." He said, almost.. sadly? Before she could say anything back, his lips crashed down onto hers. She kissed him back eagerly before the alcohol and his strong scent of cologne lulled her to pass out.

* * *

_._

* * *

When she woke up, finding herself in an unfamiliar bed, she freaked out. It wasn't Kiba's messy apartment, not her clean one, none of her girl friends.. She swallowed and looked down, happy to see her clothes still on. She looked at the sheets, feeling the dark, silky material in her fingers. She slowly stood up, feeling a bit sick, but pushed it back, working the alcohol through her system. She yawned and stretched, looking around her. Then she caught sight of the black shirt hung over the chair in the corner of the room. The Uchiha fan on the material was obvious.

She swallowed. What was she doing in Sasuke's apartment? She saw her shoes and sake bottle on the ground. She stepped into her heels and looked around once more, before picking up her sake bottle. His apartment was clean, empty, quiet. She walked around, before her eyes caught sight of a small note left on the counter. She walked over to it, her eyes wide. In his formal scrawl, there was only three words.

_Let's fix things._

It was enough for her to set down the sake bottle.

* * *

_so she'll live like tomorrow is nonexistent. _

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**end**

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_I just really like this song ok LOL. Meh I dunno if I like the ending, I think the beginning is better but oh well. _


End file.
